Yakjop is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, vain armadillo.

Yakjop created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Yakjop, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yakjop, he will make you grow a tail.

Yakjop's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Yakjop's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching lead.

2. Run away if nine cats approach from the east.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not wear shorts marked with brown.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near monkeys while wearing magenta kilts and balancing eight gold spheres on your hands.