Cumnadkar Maplopfombog is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, amazing lion.

Cumnadkar Maplopfombog created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Cumnadkar Maplopfombog, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cumnadkar Maplopfombog, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Cumnadkar Maplopfombog's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Cumnadkar Maplopfombog's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always cleanse oil with water.

4. Never fashion tools from clay.

5. Do not keep five shrews in a large pit.