Tipfidtapquag is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unthoughtful yak.

Tipfidtapquag created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tipfidtapquag, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tipfidtapquag, he will torture you forever.

Tipfidtapquag's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Tipfidtapquag's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Run away from blue monkeys, for they are unholy.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Do not prepare cherries while wearing hats.