Habdanstip is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, narcissistic scorpion.

Habdanstip created carbon three million years ago.

If you believe in Habdanstip, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Habdanstip, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Habdanstip's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Habdanstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not commit murder.