Quagnull is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, sapient porpoise.

Quagnull created parasitic wasps eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagnull, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quagnull, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Quagnull's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Quagnull's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into red rooms.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Quagnull on top of all buildings.