Park is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, able cat.

Park created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Park, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Park, she will turn you into a hamster.

Park's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Park's Holy Commandments

1. Put Park first in all things.

2. Never feed garlic to whales while wearing purple shoes.

3. Do not eat limes.

4. Never think about special relativity.

5. Do not drink water in orange rooms.