Bifrapster is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, vain crane.

Bifrapster created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bifrapster, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bifrapster, she will be very unhappy.

Bifrapster's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Bifrapster's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove shirts before entering holy places.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Bifrapster on top of important buildings.

4. Never approach forests carrying ash.

5. Never pour water over plants.