Satbedvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, confident armadillo.

Satbedvonk created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satbedvonk, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Satbedvonk, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Satbedvonk's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Satbedvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eukaryotes.

2. Never paint your head brown.

3. Never speak aloud of numbers.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not fashion tools from silver.