Zigmutzim is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humane monkey.

Zigmutzim created a strange quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigmutzim, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zigmutzim, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Zigmutzim's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Zigmutzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Zigmutzim in the centre of the settlement.

5. Fast once a month.