Volzakbut is a god.

She takes the form of a small, astonishing mole.

Volzakbut created the Sombrero Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volzakbut, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Volzakbut, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Volzakbut's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Volzakbut's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

2. Never feed oranges to swans while wearing white rings.

3. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Volzakbut.

5. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.