Ranyokvonk is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, self-confident finch.

Ranyokvonk created the Sun three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ranyokvonk, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ranyokvonk, it will turn you into a worm.

Ranyokvonk's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Ranyokvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat gulls with great respect.

2. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

3. Never feed beans to mites while wearing green hats.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not make images of living things.