Flamjadkim is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, unjust centaur.

Flamjadkim created viruses five billion years ago.

If you believe in Flamjadkim, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Flamjadkim, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Flamjadkim's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Flamjadkim's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Flamjadkim.

2. Do not fashion tools from nickel.

3. Do not hurt otters.

4. Never gather four snakes near towers.

5. Always store turnips above ground.