Dinstersandlak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, confident grasshopper.

Dinstersandlak created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Dinstersandlak, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dinstersandlak, she will not invite you to parties.

Dinstersandlak's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Dinstersandlak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear orange clothing.

2. Always wear purple.

3. Always help grasshopers in need.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Dinstersandlak in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always treat capybaras with great respect.