Guthotomin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, effective alligator.

Guthotomin created Africa two years ago.

If you believe in Guthotomin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Guthotomin, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Guthotomin's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Guthotomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Worship no other gods but Guthotomin.

5. Guthotomin must be the most important thing in your life.