Bapmutkop is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, sapient shark.

Bapmutkop created the Tadpole Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapmutkop, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bapmutkop, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bapmutkop's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Bapmutkop's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Never talk about nebulae.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Never bounce in the presence of seals.

5. Always take life seriously.