Flamxemkap is a god.

He takes the form of a large, all-knowing swan.

Flamxemkap created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamxemkap, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flamxemkap, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Flamxemkap's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Flamxemkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat pineapples.

2. Shun those given to greed.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not consume strawberries at dawn.

5. Always take life seriously.