Armvedsid Jamtonhabfumxuc is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ill-tempered dove.

Armvedsid Jamtonhabfumxuc created humankind four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Armvedsid Jamtonhabfumxuc, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Armvedsid Jamtonhabfumxuc, she will boil you in a big pot.

Armvedsid Jamtonhabfumxuc's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Armvedsid Jamtonhabfumxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain rings during rituals.

2. Always look after injured goats.

3. Never go into orange rooms.

4. Do not take Armvedsid Jamtonhabfumxuc's name in vain.

5. Do not resist balance.