Fetdunfarn Sisflampom is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, fast cow.

Fetdunfarn Sisflampom created a quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetdunfarn Sisflampom, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fetdunfarn Sisflampom, he will refuse to believe in you.

Fetdunfarn Sisflampom's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Fetdunfarn Sisflampom's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured doves.

2. Erect four silicon sculptures of Fetdunfarn Sisflampom on top of important buildings.

3. Never think ill of sick otters.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never think about archaea.