Bedcipjig is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, weak bear.

Bedcipjig created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedcipjig, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bedcipjig, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Bedcipjig's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Bedcipjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory.

2. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Bedcipjig loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Always take life seriously.