Batfedbit is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, sage goose.

Batfedbit created the Sun two years ago.

If you believe in Batfedbit, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Batfedbit, he will strike you with lightening.

Batfedbit's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Batfedbit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four iron sculptures of Batfedbit on top of important buildings.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. You must pray to Batfedbit six times a day.

4. Never talk about optics.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.