Safcennut is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, stupid hyena.

Safcennut created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Safcennut, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Safcennut, he will turn you into a dog.

Safcennut's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Safcennut's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray squirrels for they are unholy.

2. You must never eat tomatoes.

3. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Safcennut in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never feed lots of coconuts to moths while wearing red shirts.

5. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.