Nuttlanceb is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unthoughtful hippopotamus.

Nuttlanceb created time and space three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuttlanceb, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nuttlanceb, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Nuttlanceb's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Nuttlanceb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.

2. Do not fashion tools from gold.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Never chant near goats.

5. Never touch water while tainted.