Yoktipyik Tikwadyik is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, deceitful bee.

Yoktipyik Tikwadyik created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yoktipyik Tikwadyik, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Yoktipyik Tikwadyik, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Yoktipyik Tikwadyik's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Yoktipyik Tikwadyik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near frogs while wearing turquoise scarves and balancing five nickel spheres on your legs.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yoktipyik Tikwadyik.

5. Do not eat grapes.