Safflamvag is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, wise snail.

Safflamvag created matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Safflamvag, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Safflamvag, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Safflamvag's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Safflamvag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help seals in need.

2. Do not dye your hair orange.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Never hurt hamsters.

5. Do not sing in public.