Dapmadpan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, sage jaguar.

Dapmadpan created the Sun seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dapmadpan, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dapmadpan, she will destroy your home solar system.

Dapmadpan's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Dapmadpan's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Erect three iron sculptures of Dapmadpan on top of important buildings.

5. Never fashion tools from clay.