Sagtitcum is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, weak hyena.

Sagtitcum created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sagtitcum, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sagtitcum, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Sagtitcum's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Sagtitcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midday.

2. Do not gather at doors at dusk.

3. Never pray while filled with pride.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never think about ultrasonics.