Quartgebhimzim is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, blissful swallow.

Quartgebhimzim created oxygen two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartgebhimzim, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quartgebhimzim, she will laugh at you.

Quartgebhimzim's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Quartgebhimzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about corn.

2. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

3. Never talk about nucleic acids.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near tortoises while wearing red tights.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.