Sandaplin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witless chinchilla.

Sandaplin created a quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandaplin, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sandaplin, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Sandaplin's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Sandaplin's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Do not step barefoot upon blue earth.