Gumcapfubmat is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, deceitful wren.

Gumcapfubmat created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumcapfubmat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gumcapfubmat, she will jump up and down on your head.

Gumcapfubmat's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Gumcapfubmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into green rooms.

2. Never talk about gravity near shrews while wearing yellow scarves and balancing nine copper spheres on your arms.

3. Never eat rice.

4. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always help sick snakes.