Vindonzaktonkarpfar is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, bad-tempered hedgehog.

Vindonzaktonkarpfar created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vindonzaktonkarpfar, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vindonzaktonkarpfar, he will cry a lot.

Vindonzaktonkarpfar's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Vindonzaktonkarpfar's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Always maintain humility during holy days.

3. Never discuss horizontal gene transfer in public assemblies.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

5. Shun those given to vanity.