Jamgan Riltarplop is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unthinking meerkat.

Jamgan Riltarplop created the solar system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamgan Riltarplop, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jamgan Riltarplop, it will turn you into a rat.

Jamgan Riltarplop's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Jamgan Riltarplop's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never touch oil while unclean.

4. Always act with purity.

5. Never cross forests at dawn.