Kimhatomtwan is a god.

He takes the form of a small, happy centipede.

Kimhatomtwan created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kimhatomtwan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kimhatomtwan, he will turn you into a plant.

Kimhatomtwan's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Kimhatomtwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Retreat if six badgers approach from the west.