Bumnarlkap is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, happy frog.

Bumnarlkap created oxygen two million years ago.

If you believe in Bumnarlkap, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bumnarlkap, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bumnarlkap's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Bumnarlkap's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all visions.

2. Never gather six great tits in one place.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near horses while wearing pink corsets.

4. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

5. Tortoises are not to be trusted.