Logkadkap is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unthinking squirrel.

Logkadkap created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Logkadkap, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Logkadkap, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Logkadkap's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Logkadkap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at towers at dawn.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never proclaim while facing north.

4. Never gather nine voles near wells.

5. Never pour water over plants.