Sterraphivwitliggandogwot is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, witty aardvark.

Sterraphivwitliggandogwot created an electron eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sterraphivwitliggandogwot, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sterraphivwitliggandogwot, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Sterraphivwitliggandogwot's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Sterraphivwitliggandogwot's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not place lemons upon stone.

4. Never talk about dark matter near doves while wearing green coats and balancing six platinum spheres on your feet.

5. Do not fashion tools from silver.