Ruttonkhig is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, almighty mole.

Ruttonkhig created the world seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttonkhig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ruttonkhig, he will turn you into a goat.

Ruttonkhig's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Ruttonkhig's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to vanity.

2. Never think ill of sick sharks.

3. Never wear indigo trousers.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always cleanse blood with water.