Dadgutlen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, happy dryad.

Dadgutlen created life four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadgutlen, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dadgutlen, he will laugh at you.

Dadgutlen's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Dadgutlen's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Never go into violet rooms.

4. Do not take Dadgutlen's name in vain.

5. Do not commit murder.