Nutsandapp is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, proud eagle.

Nutsandapp created everything that exists five million years ago.

If you believe in Nutsandapp, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nutsandapp, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Nutsandapp's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Nutsandapp's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Nutsandapp's priests.

2. Do not place tomatoes upon stone.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nutsandapp.

4. Never feed lots of apples to frogs while wearing yellow tights.

5. Do not cook food in pots.