Yakcunquatdin Cebweebest is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, contented beaver.

Yakcunquatdin Cebweebest created bats five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakcunquatdin Cebweebest, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yakcunquatdin Cebweebest, he will destroy your home solar system.

Yakcunquatdin Cebweebest's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Yakcunquatdin Cebweebest's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cucumbers.

2. Yakcunquatdin Cebweebest loves frogs, so they must be respected.

3. Always obey Yakcunquatdin Cebweebest's priests.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.