Somkipsig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, conceited eagle.

Somkipsig created the Sombrero Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Somkipsig, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Somkipsig, she will jump up and down on your head.

Somkipsig's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Somkipsig's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross rivers at midday.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never feed lots of tomatoes to snakes while wearing fawn scarves.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near otters while wearing purple rings and balancing three titanium spheres on your legs.