Gutquathad Kongodonttarg is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, selfish lobster.

Gutquathad Kongodonttarg created the Sunflower Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutquathad Kongodonttarg, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gutquathad Kongodonttarg, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gutquathad Kongodonttarg's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Gutquathad Kongodonttarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about spacetime.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Gutquathad Kongodonttarg in the centre of the settlement.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Erect five silicon sculptures of Gutquathad Kongodonttarg on top of important buildings.

5. Never think ill of sick dolphins.