Kipfarnlib is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, selfish tapir.

Kipfarnlib created Mount Everest eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kipfarnlib, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kipfarnlib, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Kipfarnlib's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Kipfarnlib's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five grasshopers approach from the west.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Do not speak of solid mechanics near sacred fires.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Kipfarnlib.

5. Do not covet oxen.