Pibjiplarg Stafbiffas is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unthoughtful alligator.

Pibjiplarg Stafbiffas created life eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibjiplarg Stafbiffas, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pibjiplarg Stafbiffas, it will throw large rocks at you.

Pibjiplarg Stafbiffas' most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Pibjiplarg Stafbiffas' Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to vanity.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Never gather three snakes near doors.

4. Never speak of fate in the presence of elders.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.