Pakcatrip is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, witty mink.

Pakcatrip created a photon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakcatrip, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pakcatrip, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Pakcatrip's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Pakcatrip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear magenta clothing.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pakcatrip.

3. Pakcatrip must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not speak about aubergines.

5. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.