Nurtarnquart is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, ruthless wolf.

Nurtarnquart created humankind three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtarnquart, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurtarnquart, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Nurtarnquart's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Nurtarnquart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Nurtarnquart.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Nurtarnquart on top of all buildings.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.