Hadbapgedarfbagnuttbassfon is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, duplicitous parrot.

Hadbapgedarfbagnuttbassfon created tapeworms nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hadbapgedarfbagnuttbassfon, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hadbapgedarfbagnuttbassfon, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Hadbapgedarfbagnuttbassfon's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Hadbapgedarfbagnuttbassfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump at forests.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always cleanse water with water.

4. Never speak at dusk.

5. You must never eat wheat.