Sitkannartfadlitsitfen is a god.

He takes the form of a large, staggering turtle.

Sitkannartfadlitsitfen created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitkannartfadlitsitfen, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sitkannartfadlitsitfen, he will be very sad.

Sitkannartfadlitsitfen's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Sitkannartfadlitsitfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study chromosomes on holy days.

2. Sitkannartfadlitsitfen loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

3. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

4. You must pray to Sitkannartfadlitsitfen five times a day.

5. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.