Kartunhon is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unsympathetic crane.

Kartunhon created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Kartunhon, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kartunhon, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Kartunhon's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Kartunhon's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not contemplate solid mechanics during the night.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never paint your feet black.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near horses while wearing gray jumpers and balancing three iron spheres on your neck.