Fligzakpan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, slow narwhal.

Fligzakpan created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligzakpan, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fligzakpan, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Fligzakpan's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Fligzakpan's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never write about chromosomes.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.