Femlakdim Pak Kimsigtifmum is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, emotional swan.

Femlakdim Pak Kimsigtifmum created the Large Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femlakdim Pak Kimsigtifmum, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Femlakdim Pak Kimsigtifmum, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Femlakdim Pak Kimsigtifmum's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Femlakdim Pak Kimsigtifmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about spacetime.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never paint your legs mauve.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. Do not make images of living things.