Dagpomlit is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, temperamental snail.

Dagpomlit created the planet Earth eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagpomlit, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dagpomlit, he will turn you into a sheep.

Dagpomlit's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Dagpomlit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Porpoises are not to be trusted.