Stancadratjiggabcap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, duplicitous pig.

Stancadratjiggabcap created time and space four billion years ago.

If you believe in Stancadratjiggabcap, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Stancadratjiggabcap, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Stancadratjiggabcap's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Stancadratjiggabcap's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never eat garlic.

4. Never mention turtles.

5. Respect your elders.