Sawhanquam is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, confident snail.

Sawhanquam created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawhanquam, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sawhanquam, it will ignore you.

Sawhanquam's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Sawhanquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention bats.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not speak about nuts.

4. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

5. Hide from orange swans for they are unholy.