Arnstipgof is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-knowing squid.

Arnstipgof created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arnstipgof, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Arnstipgof, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Arnstipgof's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Arnstipgof's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Never hurt sharks.

3. Never go into red rooms.

4. Never paint your back gray.

5. You must never eat apples.