Aftabgov is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, duplicitous newt.

Aftabgov created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Aftabgov, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Aftabgov, it will turn you into a hamster.

Aftabgov's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Aftabgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near horses while wearing green tights.

2. Never sprint near turtles.

3. Never travel toward the north during autumn.

4. Never approach crossroads carrying clay.

5. Do not drink alcohol.