Wigtofyatt is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, deceitful aardvark.

Wigtofyatt created a strange quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wigtofyatt, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wigtofyatt, it will make you grow a tail.

Wigtofyatt's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Wigtofyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.