Sitminsug is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, moody slug.

Sitminsug created time and space three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sitminsug, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sitminsug, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Sitminsug's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Sitminsug's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your hands toward the west during prayer.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Sitminsug loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Never fashion tools from ash.