Cumlitdamwadbapnatdaggar is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, weak squirrel.

Cumlitdamwadbapnatdaggar created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cumlitdamwadbapnatdaggar, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cumlitdamwadbapnatdaggar, he will turn you into a hamster.

Cumlitdamwadbapnatdaggar's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Cumlitdamwadbapnatdaggar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

3. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not dye your hair yellow.

5. Never eat bark.